Watching the trends of the outdoor world for more than 30 years has been an enlightening trip with many eye-brow raising experiences popping up along the way.  It seems like nearly every week there is a new twist or turn in the inventive minds of firearm and gear makers.

   One of the recent ventures into creativity has been the introduction of products riding the coat tails of the zombie, vampire and werewolf craze sweeping across movie theaters and even television screens.  Maybe I am too old school, but I have to admit I just don't get this focus on fantasy.  

    I hate to spoil anyone's monster party, but the walking dead don't exist and you don't need a special firearm, knife, target or any other gear to handle something that is imaginary.   Sorry to be the one serving up a dish of reality, but somebody has to do it.

   However, just in case I am wrong, the following recipe is practically guaranteed to keep any member of the living dead horde from invading your kitchen.  While Chef Ralph's Super Seasoning makes all kinds of wild game, meats, fish and vegetables simply delectable for normal people, zombies can't handle the flavor boost. 

   Keep a bottle of Chef Ralph's handy for your extra seasoning pleasure, serve up a plate of this meatloaf and then get ready to enjoy a zombie-free fine dining experience.

   Zombie Proof Macaroni Meatloaf

•       2 pounds ground venison
•       1 cup seasoned bread crumbs
•       1 tablespoon Chef Ralph’s Super Seasoning
•       2 eggs
•       1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
•       1/2 cup chopped onion
•       2 cloves garlic, minced
•       1 can (14.5-ounces) petite diced tomatoes in sauce
•       1/2 cup ketchup
•       1 teaspoon prepared mustard
•       2 tablespoons butter
•       1/4 cup milk
•       1 cup Velveeta cheese, cubed
•       2 cups cooked elbow macaroni
•       Chef Ralph’s Super Seasoning, to taste
•       1/2 cup grated cheddar or Gouda cheese

       In a large bowl, mix ground meat, bread crumbs, Chef Ralph’s, eggs, Worcestershire, onion, garlic, tomatoes, ketchup and mustard. When well mixed, spread meat mixture in the bottom of a greased 9-by-13 inch casserole dish.  Melt butter over medium heat in a large cooking pot.  Add milk, Velveeta and macaroni to melted butter.  Stir until cheese is melted. Pour macaroni and cheese mixture over meat mixture, sprinkle with a little Chef Ralph’s and bake, uncovered, at 350 degrees for about 45 minutes.  Sprinkle grated cheese over mixture and cook for another 15 minutes until cheese is melted.  Serve with fresh garlic bread and garlic mashed potatoes (to help repel any potential vampire threat).

   Those of us who have lost outdoor friends and family to the unrelenting passage of time tend to get a little melancholy as we celebrate the fall and winter hunting and holiday season each year.

    Thinking back on those days of old when one of our compadres cracked a joke or pulled off a good-hearted prank is our way to lighten our hearts and maybe even break into a smile as we relive our quality outdoor memories.

     The story below is one from "Revenge of Old Boots and Bacon Grease" that relates one memorable prank while offering a good recipe for anyone with a new supply of fresh deer meat.

    Enjoy the tale and the all-to-short time you have to spend with your hunting companions:

   Practical jokes seem to be a natural part of the great outdoors, just like clean air, fresh water and sunshine.

   One of the veterans of both the outdoors and practical jokes who I was privileged to share a little time with was the late Dan Klepper, who was the San Antonio Express-News outdoor editor for nearly 30 years.

   He cheerfully engaged in a running battle with his competition at the San Antonio Light newspaper, but one incident was a real corker.

   Knowing of his counterpart’s propensity for being a “been there and done that” kind of guy, Klepper used a little creative photography and darkroom techniques to produce a blurry photo of a youngster holding up an unusual fish.

     The tail of the catch was from a saltwater speckled trout, the body was of a catfish and the head was from a largemouth bass.

     Klepper sent the photo to his competitor with a hand-written note as if it was from the youngster that stated: “Please help me identify my catch.  I think it might be a trophy, but nobody can tell me what kind of fish it is.”

     Several days later, the photo appeared in the San Antonio Light with the response from the outdoor editor, who told the youngster not to be concerned about his lack of aquatic knowledge because: “I wasn’t sure what kind of fish this was myself until after I caught several of them.’’

     Klepper was a little more serious when he got around to cooking game. 

    The following dish was one of his most popular creations.

    Klepper's No Joke Meat Casserole

•     1 pound chopped or cubed venison
•     2 tablespoons oil (I use bacon grease)
•     1 can (6 ounces) tomato paste
•     1 can (15 ounces) ranch-style beans
•     2 cups shredded longhorn cheese

   Heat oil over medium heat in a large cast-iron skillet and brown venison.  Feel free to sprinkle the meat with Chef Ralph’s Super Seasoning to kick up the flavor a notch. Stir in tomato paste.  Place half of the meat mixture in the bottom of a casserole dish or Dutch oven.  Add a layer (about 1/2 can) of beans and top with a layer of cheese. Repeat with another layer of meat, beans and cheese.  Cover dish or Dutch oven and bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.  Serve with corn chips.

   Now, let's get cooking!

  As the annual rite of passage known as dove season takes over Texas, thousands of hunters will be testing their shooting skills against the aerial acrobatics of white-winged and mourning doves.   The following is a reprint of shooting tips published in September edition of The Journal of Texas Trophy Hunters that may help put more birds in your bag.

  A familiar sound at any field or tree line where dove hunters gather each year is: “BOOM, snick-snick; BOOM, snick-snick; BOOM, snick-snick;” often followed by words not appropriate for mixed company.

   This refrain of a pump-action shotgun being fired three times in rapid succession without bringing down a bird is audible testament to the wisdom of one of the keys to hunting success – make your first shot count.

   While ammunition manufacturers might love the three-shot everytime hunters – about 40 percent of annual shotgun shell sales are dove loads – those who want to put more birds in their game bag should avoid the practice.

    “Most hunters (with three potential shots) will fire the first one before they are even on the bird, knowing they have two more to back it up, or they just blast away that last shot at a dove that is way out of range,” said Milo Abercrombie of the 74 Ranch and Resort in Campbellton.

   “In either case, three shots just are not normally a good idea.”

    Abercrombie has witnessed thousands of hunters over the past few decades at the 28,000-acre ranch he manages in the heart of dove paradise in South Texas.

    “The birds are really hard to follow after the first shot – they start dipping and diving – and many hunters just won’t be able to stay on them for a second or third shot.

    “I see a lot of hunters who bring semiautomatics (or pump actions) when they first start out, but once they shoot a little and get confidence in their ability, they will move up to an over and under,’’ Abercrombie said.

    Another problem, should a hunter have the skills to down two or three birds at a time, is finding the doves once they have hit the ground.

    Even by utilizing the services of a well-trained retriever – either a good dog or non-hunting buddy – locating three dead birds on the ground at the same time can be a daunting task.  Game wardens are particularly sensitive to any shooters who leave their birds on the ground without a reasonable search and will ticket offenders they find following the practice.

   If a hunter can refrain from the three-shot habit, the benefit of both pump-action and semiautomatic is that they are, in most cases, lighter than two-barrel shotguns.  That means they are quicker on a target and won’t leave the shooter’s arms as tired at the end of a hunting day.

   Recoil may be slightly more with a single-barrel shotgun, although most of the modern models have recoil-reducing systems that work very well.

   Quick and easy handling semiautomatics such as the Browning Maxus or Silver Hunter; the Beretta A400 or AL391: the Benelli Super Sport, Cordoba or Super Black Eagle; the Remington 11-87 or Versa Max and others can all offer a quality dove hunting experience.

   Pump actions such as the Browning BPS, Benelli Nova, Mossberg 535, Remington 870 and others will not be as quite as easy to handle as a semiautomatic, but have become common shooting tools by hundreds of thousands of hunters every year.

    As veteran guides note, a hunter shooting any type of shotgun should focus on quality, not quantity, and learn to make that first shot a hit.  If a second shot is needed to finish off a wounded bird, use it.

    When swinging onto a bird, the single-barrel shotguns will require a little more push or pull than an over and under, which has more weight in the front end of the firearm that helps the shooter glide though the target.

    This tendency to “whip” the single-barrel shotgun can be overcome with a little practice and familiarity with your firearm.  As with all wingshooting, the more “smooth” in your swing, the more successful you will be in hitting the target.

    Two final pieces of advice for single-barrel shooters that will improve everyone’s hunting experience are:

    1. Please pick up your hulls.  Unlike an over and under or side-by-side, a single-barrel shooter can’t catch the empties as they are ejected and piles of hulls on the ground are a pet peeve of most landowners. Just like any other trash, hulls should be collected off the ground and properly discarded or taken home for reloading.

    2. Keep your action open when you are not shooting.   Everyone should always be safety conscious. If your action is open when carrying the shotgun, both you and the people around you know that the firearm is not capable of an accidental discharge.

    By following these rules and making that first shot count, everyone can enjoy one of the most popular hunting experiences of the year.

    Now, let's get shooting!

   In honor of Independence Day, the following is a hot and tasty treat that explodes with flavor.  It was created by my younger brother Frank, who knows his way around things that explode, things that burn and things you can cook.  The recipe was first published in my book "Revenge of Old Boots & Bacon Grease."  Enjoy!

   Finding an "expert" who is willing -- even anxious -- to provide advice on hunting, shooting, cooking and any other outdoor activity is not a difficult task in my circle of friends and relatives.

   There are times when this advice can be put to good use, such as the case with one of my younger brothers who has always had a "black" thumb.

    If you are looking for expertise in the field of fire and explosions, Frank is your man.

    He has mellowed just a little since the time that he torched our family garden by igniting a car tire filled with fuel oil, then rolled it down a hill.  Dad had told Frank to burn off the garden debris, but I don't think a flaming tire was what he had in mind.

    The garden had produced a bounty of vegetables and was ready to be cleared, so the conflagration was actually beneficial.  Unfortunately, another 400 acres of grassland and brushy countryside behind our rural home also got pretty scorched.

    When Dad got home from work that night, glowing pockets stretched as far as you could see from the kitchen window.

    Dad, who was a master of understatement, sat down at the kitchen table and said: "Well, looks like Frank got that garden burned off."

    Mom, who had barely finished dealing with four volunteer fire departments called in to put out the blaze, just laid her head on her arms and gave out a little sob.

    Frank also knows how to put fire in his recipes, such as the following dish.

    The combination of Chef Ralph's seasoning and Chinese Sweet Chili Sauce really packs a punch in this easy creation that can be served either warm or chilled.

     Frank's Firecraker Shrimp

•     2 pounds medium to large shrimp
•     1 package (16 ounces) Won Ton Wraps
•     Chef Ralph's Super Seasoning
•     Peanut oil (for cooking)
•     Sweet Chili Sauce (for dipping)

    Peel shrimp and rinse in cold water.  Set aside to drain on a paper towel.  Cut each Won Ton Wrap in half.  Take each shrimp, sprinkle with Chef Ralph's seasoning and place on the edge of one cut wrap.  Moisten the other end of the wrap with water and roll, covering about half the shrimp.  Repeat with all the shrimp.  Heat peanut oil to 350 degrees.  Deep-fry wrapped shrimp for three to four minutes or until golden brown.  Drain on paper towels, immediately adding more seasoning to taste.  Serve with the Sweet Chili Sauce as a dip or place a dollop of sauce on each cooked shrimp.

    Now, let's get cooking!

   One of the main problems with cooking wild game is that lean meat has a tendency to become dry and tough if not prepared properly by a camp chef using a few favorite sauces to tame the game.   A good chef will always have a sauce recipe or two in his or her memory banks that can really transform a dish into a savory creation.

   The following sauces are time-tested creations that were published in the Texas Sporting Journal "Taste of the Outdoors" wild game recipes that I compiled for the magazine several years ago. The sauce recipes have served me well and are simple to prepare.

   Mom Knows Best BBQ Sauce

•    1 cup catsup
•    2 tablespoons olive oil
•    3 tablespoons white vinegar
•    3 tablespoons white sugar
•    1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
•    2 tablespoons liquid smoke (optional)
•    hot sauce, to taste
•    1 tablespoon Chef Ralph's Super Seasoning
•    1 cup onion, minced

    Mix all ingredients in a sauce pan and bring to boil over medium heat.  Reduce heat  and simmer about 15 minutes.  Use for basting meats as they cook or as a dipping sauce.  Unused sauce should be refrigerated and should be used wihin two weeks.

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    Although this sauce is designed for use with waterfowl, particularly tender young teal, it also works for quail, pheasant, or even chicken if your shooting skills might be a little rusty and you return home with an empty game bag.  The recipe can be doubled or tripled if you are cooking larger birds.  If you are cooking a whole chicken, increase the cooking time to 45 minutes or as long as it takes for the juices to be clear, with no red tint.

    Brandy Sauce Teal

•     2 teal, cleaned
•     Chef Ralph's Super Seasoning
•     4 tablespoons butter
•     1 medium onion, quartered
•    1/4 cup apple jelly
•    1/4 cup sour cream
•    1/4 cup brandy

   Rinse cleaned teal in cold water and pat dry with a paper towel.  Sprinke birds on all sides with Chef Ralph's Super Seasoning.  Heat butter  in a Dutch oven over medium high heat, add seasoned ducks and brown on all sides.  Remove browned birds to a warm plate and stuff with quartered onion.  Add remaining ingredients to the Dutch oven and stir well.  Reduce heat to medium and bring mixture to a boil.  Return stuffed birds to Dutch oven, spooning sauce mixture over them.  Cover Dutch oven and bake at 400 degrees for about 35 minutes, basting about every 10 minutes.